Paper: Guardian, The (London, England)
Title: The Guardian: Weekend: SEX AND THE SANDING: You’re standing in the shelf section of the DIY store. He says he –
wants them ‘floating’; you say you’d like them this year. Lorna V on the great decorating – wars
Author: LORNA V
Date: May 18, 2002
Walk into any interiors or DIY store this weekend and you’ll be sure to find couples raging at each other over curtain rails, bickering over matt versus vinyl silk, or sulking over last weekend’s shelving disaster.
A recent survey by Homebase confirmed that deciding on home decoration is one of the major sources of conflict within relationships, with six out of 10 couples arguing during and after store visits. Interestingly, the higher the style stakes, the greater the likelihood of a blazing row. Couples who see their home as a showcase are more likely to disagree than couples agreeing to go practical and cheap. And couples under 35 are more likely to fight over the decision-making than their older counterparts, with both
genders struggling for equal rights over everything from assembling garden sheds to choosing sofa throws.
Indeed, research from B&Q shows that while men are increasingly sticking their oar in over colour co-ordination, women are insisting on having a go with the drill. Though more men decorate (39%), B&Q’s last survey on the subject showed that women aren’t far behind (36%).
The fact that most couples expect equality in their decision-making, and now have a greater awareness of interiors trends and design, has created an escalation in the decorating wars.
One leading interior designer, who preferred not to be named, says she dreads couples as clients: “People have more definite views these days. They travel and stay in well-designed hotels, they go to restaurants where the interiors are as important as the food, and they read the magazine supplements on home style. With a couple, you tend to deal with two people convinced their style is best.”
Julian Vogel and his wife Sally Mackereth had radically different homes before they married and bought their London mews house. When the two moved in together, she had a car load of designer shoes and a table. He arrived with a large truck full of things he’d been hoarding.
“I was devastated when the truck arrived,” says Mackereth. “He’d needed a lock-up garage for everything. Then there was the furniture, like the ghastly Shaker bed and chair.”
As an architect, she was used to dealing with clients’ nonsensical ideas. But it was far more annoying when they came from her husband. “With a client, you can just say this won’t work,” says Mackereth. “Julian would present me with ideas. Like a water lily pond he thought might be nice by the entrance. Or a mini swimming pool at the back. I would just say no.
“It’s important for a home not to be a showpiece. It’s about creating a place where you both put your stuff and you’re both happy.”
“We didn’t argue,” claims Vogel. “Though the Shaker bed was banished to the spare room. Sally just couldn’t understand that I’d had a Shaker moment. We worked out lots of storage options, and ways to incorporate all my books and vast magazine collections. I’ve even kept my jam jar collection.”
Mackereth claims their different natures make for an interesting home: “If I met someone as minimal as myself it wouldn’t work. But I don’t believe he’s ever going to make jam.”
A similar, though reversed, gender conflict is occurring backstage in the high street, where traditionally male-dominated design teams are being challenged by more female influences. Georgina Godley, a style co-ordinator at Habitat, says some fairly heated argy-bargy “is rife during the design process. This may sound awfully stereotypical, but you get the male product designers who want to be functional, the female textile team who want to be pretty, and then, when it comes to putting fabric on sofas, there is an
almighty fallout.
“At the moment, there is a rush towards romanticism. Habitat recently launched floral and paisley bed linen. Every man in Habitat sneered and said, ‘No man will sleep in something like that.’ But our fathers slept in florals so they’re talking rubbish. Design has been male-dominated since the 1980s, and female instincts have been marginalised. Well, darlings, the girls are back.”
Though the obvious solution to the interiors gender war might appear to be compromise, this is a design no-no. “The minute you water down an idea,” says Godley, “it loses its impact. Decide what you both want, take the two extremes and put them together. The fusion of male and female style is very contemporary. What’s interesting is that this is a style that’s come about through social evolution. It confirms that trends are driven as much by real people as by trendsetters.”
For interiors advice from experts in your area, contact the British Interior Design Association, 020-7349 0800 (www.bida.org).
Author: LORNA V